Conversational 'Lord's Prayer'

Young man:  Our Father, who art in heaven…

Father:  Yes?

Young man:  Don’t interrupt me - I’m praying!

Father:  But you called me!

Young man:  Called you?  I didn’t call you.  I’m praying.  Our Father, who art in heaven....

Father:  There - you did it again.

Young man:  Did what?

Father:  Called me.  You said, “Our Father who art in heaven.”  Here I am.  What’s on your mind?

Young man:  But I didn’t mean anything by it.  I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.  I always say the Lord’s Prayer.  It makes me feel good, kind of like getting a duty done.

Father:  All right - go on then.

Young man:  Hallowed be Thy name...

Father:  Hold it!  What do you mean by that?

Young man:  It means... ahm.... good grief!  I don’t know what it means.  How should I know?  It’s just part of the prayer.  By the way, what does it mean?

Father:  It means honored, holy, wonderful.

Young man:  That makes sense.  I never thought about it before.  Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven...

Father:  Do you really mean that?

Young man:  Sure, why not?

Father:  What are you doing about it?

Young man:  Doing?  Nothing, I guess.  I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there, that’s all.

Father:  Have I got control of you?

Young man:  Well,... I go to church!

Father:  That isn’t what I asked you.  What about your bad temper?  And your gossiping?  And the way you spend money all on yourself.  And the kinds of books you read, and the types of movies and TV that you watch?  You’ve really got some problems there!

Young man:  Stop picking on me!  I’m just as good as the rest of the people in church.

Father:  Excuse me?  I thought you were praying for My will to be done.  If that is going to happen, it must start with the ones who are praying for it.... like you, for example.

Young man:  Oh, all right.  I guess I do have a few problems, now that You mention it.  But I could name a few others....

Father:  So could I.  But let’s focus on you.

Young man:  I haven’t thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things.  I would like to, you know,... be really free.

Father:  GOOD!  Now we’re getting somewhere!  We’ll work together, you and I.  Some victories can be won.  I’m proud of you.

Young man:  Look, Lord, I really need to finish up here... This is taking a LOT longer than it usually does.  Give us this day our daily bread.

Father:  You need to cut out the bread.  You’re overweight as it is.  And, just so you’ll better understand, the daily bread refers to the Eucharist.  It’s the bread that’s needful.

Young man:  Hey - wait a minute!  What is this, criticize me day?  I was just kneeling here, doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden YOU break in and start reminding me of all my problems.

Father:  Praying is a serious thing.  You could wind up changed, you know.  That’s what I’m trying to teach you.  You called me, and here I am.  It’s too late to stop praying now.  Keep going - I’m interested in the next part of your prayer.  (Pause)  Well, go on...

Young man:  I’m afraid.

Father:  Afraid?  Of what?

Young man:  I know what You’ll say.

Father:  Try Me and see.

Young man:  Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...

Father:  What about Ann?

Young man:  See?  I knew it!  I knew You would bring her up!  Why are You berating me?  She’s the one who has told lies about me, spread stories about my family, owes me money... I’ve sworn to get even with her!

Father:  But your prayer... What about your prayer?

Young man:  I didn’t mean it.

Father:  Well, at least you’re honest.  But it’s not much fun carrying around that load of bitterness and guilt inside you, is it?

Young man:  No... But I’ll feel better once I get even!  I really have some plans for her.  She’ll wish she never even met me by the time...

Father:  You won’t feel any better.  In fact, you’ll feel worse.  Revenge isn’t sweet.  Think of how unhappy you are right now.  But I can change all that.

Young man:  You can?  How?

Father:  Forgive Ann.  Ask her to forgive you.  Then I’ll forgive you.  Then the hate and sin will be Ann’s problem and not yours.  You will have settled your heart.

Young man:  Why do You have to always be so right?  I have to admit, I want to be right with You more than I want revenge on Ann.....  All right, all right!  I forgive her, and I’ll ask her to forgive me!  Lord, help her to find the right road in life.  She’s bound to be miserable, now that I think about it.  Some way, somehow, show her the right way!

Father:  There now, wonderful!  How do you feel?

Young man:  You know, I don’t think I’ll have to go to bed tonight feeling my stomach in knots for the first time since I can remember.

Father:  You’re not through with your prayer.  Go on.

Young man:  Oh, all right.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Father:  Good, good!  I’ll do that.  Just don’t put yourself in a place where you can be tempted.

Young man:  What do you mean by that?

Father:  Don’t turn on the TV when you know there are needs to be cared for, or if the children need attention.  That time you spend having coffee with your friends... if you can’t influence the conversation to positive things, perhaps you should rethink the value of those friendships.  And another thing - your neighbors and friends aren’t the standards for ‘keeping up with’.  And lastly, don’t use me for an escape hatch.

Young man:  I don’t understand that last one.

Father:  Sure you do.  You do it too often.  You get caught in a bad situation and you come running to Me.  “Lord, help me, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”  You remember some of those ‘bargains’ you tried to make with me, don’t you?

Young man:  Yes... and I’m ashamed, I really am.

Father:  Which ‘bargain’ are you remembering now?

Young man:  Well, there was the night when Suzy was gone, and the kids and I were home alone.  The storm was so bad that I thought  the roof was gone for sure.  The tornado sirens were blaring, and I remember praying, “Lord, if you spare us, I’ll never skip my prayers again.”

Father:  I protected you, but you didn’t keep your promise, did you?

Young man:  I’m sorry, Lord.  I really am.  Up until now I thought that if I just prayed the Lord’s Prayer every day, then I could do what I liked.  I didn’t expect anything to happen like it did.

Father:  Go ahead - finish your prayer.

Young man:  For Yours is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages.  Amen.

Father:  Do you know what would bring Me glory, or what would make Me happy?

Young man:  No, but I’d like to know.  I now want to please You more than anything.  I see what a mess I’ve made of my life, and I can see how important it is to just follow Your commandments and to be worthy of Your love.

Father:  You just answered the question!