Why Do I Feel As If I'm Making No Spiritual Progress?

It’s a question we often ask ourselves.  There are just times in our lives when we seem to feel that God is not answering our prayers.  We want peace, and we are in turmoil.  We want to feel as if we’ve forgiven someone, but in our next encounter with them, the past is remembered, and we can’t truly say our forgiveness is complete.  We want to pray meaningfully, but after our prayers, we feel empty.

If we think for a few moments, we’ll find that there are other examples of how we feel that our spiritual progress is just not what we hoped it would be.  Does any of this sound familiar?  

And so, what do we do? 

If you are an athlete, how do you train for an event?  If you wish to run a 100 yard dash, do you go to the track the day before the race, run the course once, and think it to be enough?  The Olympics are beginning.  Those who are considered the best athletes in the world are there, and they are competing.  Do you think that there is one of them who has dedicated just the past month to training?  Most of those who go to compete have dedicated their entire young lives to achieving the goal of getting to this competition, for being given the chance to measure themselves against the best in the world, and to see if they can overcome the limitations that they know that they still have to emerge victorious over the others.

Do we hear and understand that last statement.  Those who go know that they have not achieved perfection.  They know that they have limitations.  How do they deal with this?  They compete so that their limitations do not come to the forefront.  They find ways to overcome the limitations.  If a gymnast knows from training that they’ve succeeded in performing a triple jump once in every 50 tries, you can count on them not including it in their routine!

What does this mean for us?  It means that we too need to see our limitations.  They, like our talents, are also “God given.”  If we were not limited in this way, how much more difficult would it be for us to find humility in our daily lives?

Saint Leonid of Optina was once asked by one who sought his spiritual counsel, “Why, after years of struggle, do I find myself worse instead of better, more inconsiderate, colder of heart?”  Saint Leonid’s reply can enlighten us in our own struggles.

“Very few have flown up in a short time on the wings of faith and virtue into the spiritual heaven, or have sensed in themselves the undying pledge of hope and the betrothal of future glory.  There are others who will never sense this during their whole life on earth.  They will not sense it according to the dispensation (the gift) of our heavenly Protector, God, Who always provides what is best for us.  For we, infants in our understanding of the judgments of Him Who directs the world, often ask of Him such tools which in their own right and power are for our salvation, but we would put them to entirely detrimental use because of our inexperience.  Therefore, the loving Father of lights hides from certain pious people the gifts which are for the salvation of some, but to others bring perdition.  What would happen if God, Who knows all things, completely fulfilled our every wish?  I think, but I’m not saying for certain, that everyone in the world would perish.  Even though He does not reject the prayers of His chosen ones, God still does not at all times fulfill their desires.  And this only in order to arrange everything in a better way, in keeping with His divine intent.  Just because you see yourself making no progress does not mean that you are not making any progress at all.  Such feelings can plant sincere humility in your heart.  And when you have the genuine awareness that you are deprived of spiritual fruit, then make an unfailing effort to force your striving with God.  When we have had no success in the virtues, three is no closer means for salvation than humbleness of mind.  Haughtiness, even when joined to the virtues, is offensive to God.  But a meek thought will not be forgotten before Him.”

God’s wisdom is greater than we can imagine.  Even we have the wisdom to know, for instance, that a child is not ready to drive a car.  All of the muscles, all of the awareness, they are present in the child.  But the child lacks the experience to control unforeseen things.  How can we expect God’s wisdom for us to be less than our own?  It is folly to think in this way!  He gives to us what we need, when we are ready.

It is up to us to be accepting (and thankful) for that which we have, to recognize it as adequate (for God always gives us what we need), and to seek His will (and not our own) from that starting point.

Romans 10:10

In today's epistle from Saint Paul (Rom 10:1-10), the reading ends with the line, "For man believes with his heart and so is justified, and he confesses with his lips and so is saved.”  These are powerful words for us as we attempt to follow those other words of Saint Paul, which exhort us to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” (Phil 2:12)  You see, the Protestant view that Jesus has accomplished all for us already, and that all we have to do is accept His gift of salvation is voided by these words of Saint Paul.  Clearly there is more to the issue of our salvation than waving our hands in the air and saying, “I believe, Jesus!  I believe!”

Now the earlier words from Saint Paul lead us to that very same place.  “For a man believes with his heart and so is justified.”  What do these words mean?  The word translated from the original Greek as ‘justified’ can also be read as ‘righteous’.  When we believe with our hearts, we may be found to be righteous.  And so, how do we truly begin to believe with our hearts?  The word in Greek used for 'heart' is literally that part of us that is our beating hearts - cardia!  The clear implication is that the source of our earthly life needs to be conformed to the source of our eternal life!  When we conform what we say, do, touch, or work upon here in this life as if our eternal life were already in effect, then we may be justified, we may be found to live righteously, we are conforming to God’s will.

What a thing to contemplate – that we might live here in this life as if we were already in that eternal life.  And yet, is this not how the saints of the Church have demonstrated themselves to us.  Doesn’t the study of the lives of the saints point us in this direction, that we are already in the Kingdom of Heaven if only we live within the commandments of our Lord?

Saint John Chrysostom writes about this same passage from Saint Paul by taking the path of looking at Saint Paul as the ‘physician’, out to heal the people of Rome by his words and instruction.  Saint Paul’s argument to the people of the Church of Rome was that the Law of Moses was null and void in comparison with the issues of faith.  Chrysostom teaches that the object of the Law was to lead mankind to righteousness.  But the Law didn’t have the ‘power’ to do this, it only provided the prescription.  The person, the individual, still needed to conform to that prescription to achieve righteousness.  But no one did.  No one could.  But then our Lord came, and gave a means by which all could be accomplished – not by living only to a set of rules, but by conforming the heart to His will – by faith!  In that faith, we come to understand that we are not ‘like God’.  We are not perfect.  His rules in the Law are beyond our ability to live within them without ever breaking them in some fashion.  In that faith that He gives to us, in that faith that we hold in our hearts, in the very life-blood that sustains us physically and which then permeates into our eternal spiritual lives, He shows us the way through repentance to live that righteous life that He desires of us.

How do we change our lives so that we have this kind of faith deep in our hearts, spiritually and physically?

I have a wonderful little book.  It’s titled “The Orthodox Companion”.  Don’t go looking for it, you won’t find it.  It was written by Fr. David Abramtsov and published by the Syrian Antiochian Archdiocese under Metropolitan Anthony back in 1956.  Yes – it’s ‘old’.  But  within the book are small treasures of Orthodoxy, little things that we can use, especially to answer big questions like the one I just posed about changing our lives so that we can find this deep faith, a faith that fills our hearts, a faith that we won’t be able to suppress our lips from confessing.  What are some of these tidbit guides for us?

One is that we change the way we approach our day.  When we are about to begin our daily ‘duties’, whatever they may be, we could/should offer some or all of the “Prayers of the Optina Elders”.  The beauty of these is that whatever our particular work or duties are, they don’t matter in the least.  The prayers still apply, whether you’re a doctor going in to do heart surgery or a farmer going out to clean dung from your barn.  What are these prayers?

1)   Grant to me, Lord, that with peace of mind I may face all that this new day is to bring.  If we can’t start with our minds being at peace, how is the day not going to be filled with trouble and turmoil?  In short - Make a good beginning. 

2)   Grant me the grace to surrender myself completely to Your Holy will.  If I during the day decide that “I know what’s best – stand aside, God,” am I going to have any hope of being found righteous?  Do I truly believe with my heart if I do such things?

3)   For every hour of this day, instruct and prepare me in all things.  None of us can say what might happen next.  If I’m in the kitchen preparing supper, there’s always that chance that my finger could be sliced into the pile of potatoes.  The neighbor’s house could catch fire.  Or my child might ask for a loving response when I’m troubled.  Whatever might happen, isn’t is right for us to pray for God’s gift to prepare us for whatever may come our way?

4)   Whatever news I may receive during this day, teach me to accept it tranquilly, knowing that all things are done to fulfill Your Holy will.  We so very often forget that God accomplishes good out of evil.  We see evil surrounding us, and we conclude that God has abandoned us.  But in our hearts, those same hearts that we are trying to conform to His will, we know that He never abandons us, He is never far from us.

5)   Govern my thoughts and feelings in all I do or say.  Wow – if only!

6)   When unforeseen things occur, let me not forget that all comes from You.  This is like Number 4 above, but reinforces that everything – and that means everything – comes from God, and I need to recognize His sovereignty therefore over the things that I perceive to be in my control.  Ultimately, they are in His control.  Remember 9/11?  Remember how devastated we were?  Remember how so many questioned how God could permit people to be murdered in that way?  Remember how many came to God in prayer because of that day?  Remember how we found such spiritual strength as a nation, to rally around those who were harmed on that day?  Can we not see that God had a plan, even in such tragedy?  Can we see how we've reverted as a nation back to a place of complacency since, how we've forgotten our need to reach out to our God?

7)   Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonably toward every member of my family, that I may not bring them to confusion or sorrow.  Sincerity and reasonability.  If we approach spouse, child, parent with these, do our dealings with them ever go wrong?  And yet, how often do our dealings with family go wrong, usually because we are either or both insincere and/or unreasonable?  What a thing to pray!

8)   Bestow on me, my Lord, the strength to endure the fatigue of the day, and to bear my part in all its passing events.  Is it easy for us to remain sincere and reasonable when we’re tired?  It’s a common human excuse for misbehavior – “I’m tired!”  It means, “Leave me alone.  Stay away from me.”  These are words that divide us from those who love us.

9)   Guide my will and teach me to pray, believe, hope, suffer, forgive, and love. Amen!  Teach me to pray!  How many times in my life have I sat speechless, knowing that I needed to reach toward God, but not being able to find even a word to make that attempt?  How many times have I grown angry at myself for my impotence in reaching toward Him?  How many times have I sat in such silence, and then found myself resorting to words He has already given me?  Sometimes it’s Psalm 51 – “Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your great mercy…”  Sometimes it’s some other Psalm whose words apply to the situation I find myself in.  But often it’s our Lord’s own words that He gave us in response to the request of His own Apostles when they asked Him “Teach  us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.” (Luke 11:2)  Yes – it’s the Lord’s Prayer.

Let's look at an example that summarizes all we’ve talked about to this point, of having our hearts conform to the Lord’s will, of living a life that is always seeking His guidance, of praying for His peace, of treating others with respect and kindness even in the face of adversity, and of prayer that is inspired by Him.

We’ve told the story before, but it bears repeating as often as necessary.  I relate the story as it was told to me by a priest I knew quite a few years ago, and so if the details are "off", let me apologize in advance for any errors.

Quite a few years ago in the OCA, Bishop Dimitri was assigned to the Diocese of the South – Dallas I think was the ‘home’ cathedral.  Anyhow, Bishop Dimitri was invited to participate in a multi-denominational meeting with a group of other Christian denominations, and the ‘leader’ of the gathering was a certain Southern Baptist pastor who apparently had little love for the Orthodox.  Forced to introduce Bishop Dimitri to give the invocation prayer, the minister stood, and his introduction said basically, “Now, Bishop Dimitri is going to read us one of those written-down kind of prayers.” 

It was an unprovoked attack on one he didn’t even know.  It was a situation that could have forced any of us into returning evil for evil – generating confrontation.  But if we live the prayers we’ve just outlined, if we seek to believe with our hearts so that we’ll be found justified and righteous, we would likely do exactly what Bishop Dimitri did.

He stood quietly, went to the podium, took out a book and opened it, put on his glasses, looked down, and began to read:

“Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name….”

When he finished the prayer, there was a standing ovation!  

Love even those that hate us....

Glory to Jesus Christ!

Equating Christ With "Great Men"

Only a proud man is always prepared to equate Christ with other great men. Even though it is obvious at first glance, that great men are one thing and the Lord Christ another, just as creation is one thing and the Creator is another. Christ is not only great but He is the Creator and Source and Inspirer of every true greatness in the history of mankind. Napoleon, one of the transient great men in exile and misery on the island of St. Helena, uttered these words: "Alexander, Caesar, Hannibal, Louis XIV, with all their genius, are nothing. They have conquered the world and were unable to gain one friend. And behold, Christ calls and instantly entire generations are united in a bond closer and stronger than the bond of blood. Christ ignites the fire of love which consumes all egoism and surpasses whatever kind of love you desire. - St. Nikolai Velimirovich

The Apostles' Fast

Please follow the link:

http://www.pravoslavie.ru/english/47148.htm

What Is YOUR Profession?

Continuing on our 'theme' of looking at this season of the Apostles' Fast for our own spiritual growth, let's ask the title question.

"What is your profession?"

It's an integral part of how we as human beings interact with one another.  When we first meet a person, we say to them, "Tell me something about yourself," so that we might come to know them better.  And the 'standard' response to such a situation is, "I'm a ___", where you fill in the blank with your profession.  It is as if someone should come to know a lot about us if we describe ourselves as a lawyer, a banker, an engineer, a doctor, a housewife, or a teacher.  And indeed, those 'labels' reveal something about us, but they don't come close to revealing to someone who we really are.

How many people would respond to the question with the answer, "I am an Orthodox Christian!"?  In my entire life, I've never encountered that as a response.  And in many instances, I or my family members have come to be 'introduced' to people who were in fact Orthodox Christians, and we only 'discovered' that spiritual connection after many discussions with them - a chance glimpse of a cross worn around the neck, or seeing us make the sign of the cross before we take a bite of food.  It takes those clandestine professions of faith to indicate to someone something more intimate about who we really are as a person, to reveal a portion of our spiritual side.

I write these things not to indict, for I am a classic case study in the issue.  I am secularly employed as an engineer, and the opportunities for meeting new people are endless.  In those opportunities, I never once introduce myself (in that business world) as, "I'm an Orthodox priest."  Rather, I'm an engineer, an alumnus of a certain college, with so many years of experience in a particular field.  And all this is right and proper, I think, for the situation.

But I often wonder, can the people who are new acquaintances see the priest inside the person they just met?  To generalize for all of us, can a new acquaintance find Christ reflected in what they see when they look at us?

If I profess faith in Jesus Christ, I have a 'profession'.  To make that profession visible, to strengthen my faith so that it is obvious to others, there is a reason for me to fast in this season.  Saint Paul taught, "To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled.  They profess to know God, but in works they deny Him, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work."  (Titus 1:15-16)

May this Fast strengthen us all "for every good work".

The Apostles' Fast

The season in which we find ourselves is often either confusing to or ignored by many who call themselves Orthodox faithful.  I've often wondered why this is....  The season is one that can carry a very important significance to us, if only we allow ourselves to immerse ourselves in that which is prescribed by the Church.  How is this true, you might ask???

First, we need to go back to Chapter 9 of the Gospel of Saint Matthew.  Herein, our Lord is being questioned by the disciples of Saint John the Forerunner, who come to the Lord and ask, "Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?"  Perhaps it was 'just a question'.  More likely, it was a question sourced from jealousy.  Ancient Hebrew tradition included fasting, and the rabbi's compared a fast with offering up ones own body in a symbolic sacrificial way, depleting ones blood and fat which compared with the burnt offerings at the altar.  In that 'tradition', fasting was 'absolute', i.e. no food nor drink from 'first light' (before dawn) until sunset.

In responding to the query from Saint John's disciples, our Lord instructed them:  "Can the friends of the Bridegroom mourn as long as the Bridegroom is with them?"  In this response, Jesus clearly links fasting with this perspective of mourning.  But the Lord continues, saying, "The days will come when the Bridegroom will be taken from them, and then they will fast." 

As we find ourselves in this season after our Lord's Ascension, when the Apostles are filled with the Holy Spirit, it is not inconsistent for us to relate these words to exactly this season.  But if this was true for our Lord's Apostles, what does it say about us?  Are we not also His disciples in the most literal sense?  And if we are, why would we not avail ourselves of this season?

"But it's so hard, father!" many will say.  "This is the beginning of vacation season.  We go on picnics.  We travel.  Why do we need to fast now?"

The questions are posed from the wrong perspective, I fear.  For indeed, one may reasonably ask, "When is the season in which we should not fast?"  With all due respect to the Pascal season that we've just exited, when is it ever a bad idea to bring our bodies into submission to the Spirit?

Fasting for us is not aligned with the above 'idea' of the ancient Jews, where it is some symbolic replacement for a burnt offering, a sacrifice to please God.  Fasting for us as Orthodox Christians is a tool, a God-given means of weakening the flesh so that the spirit may increase.  Will we feel hunger?  Certainly.  Will we desire things that we set aside 'for a season'?  Absolutely!  But how much more savory is the food from which we've separated ourselves when the season ends?

In my own household, my children (when they still lived at home) would come from time to time during the year and ask, "Dad - will you make some Pascha bread?  It sounds SO good...."  And my standard answer was, "NO!"  It was something quite special, and our eating that sweet bread was always related to one day in the year, and no other.

While some may think that our 'fasting regimen' should end with Holy Saturday until the next year's Sunday of Orthodoxy, if we live in that way, we deprive ourselves of the differences of the fasting seasons throughout the year.

What can one find "special" here within this fasting season which can benefit our spiritual growth?  Given that this is the Apostles' Fast, how about reading from the lives of the Apostles?  What benefits might we accrue if we came to the firm realization that the Apostles were "just normal people" like us, except that they allowed the Holy Spirit "space" within themselves to change their lives?

In our homily this past Sunday, we recalled a story - I can't remember the source.  But it was about a little girl who came to church all the time.  One particular evening, she had been noticeably focused on the stained glass windows of the church, and the images of the saints which were cast into them.  When it was dark, and the service had ended, she approached the priest and said, "Father, I remember those windows from Sunday morning.  The saints aren't as pretty without the sun's light shining through them."

What a profound thing!  The saints are not beautiful unless they are filled with the light of Christ....

Remember - We are all called to be saints!

Interesting Article

Christ is Ascended!

I've become a rather voracious reader of a number of blog sites which I consider to be fruitful to my own spiritual growth.

I came across this one today:

http://roadsfromemmaus.org/

It's published by Father Andrew Stephen Damick, pastor of Saint Paul Orthodox Christian Church of Emmaus, PA.  He's the author of "Orthodoxy and Heterodoxy:  Exploring Belief Systems Through the Lens of the Ancient Christian Faith" published by Conciliar Press.

The article in question is titled, "Evangelicals at the Eucharist", and can be found from a link on this page.  It's a fascinating article on how non-Orthodox are ascribing greater meaning (but as yet undefined in terms of dogma) to participation in the Eucharist.

Let me encourage you to go, to read, and to contemplate.

In our ascended Lord,
Father Basil

Christ is Risen!

May the joy of knowing that Christ is Risen from the dead fill all of us!  May we be filled with the firm knowledge that in His Resurrection He provides the path for all who follow Him in faith and in love to be with Him in His Kingdom.  And in that firm knowledge, may we attain to that "unity of the faith" that leads us to be near Him while we remain here, awaiting that day when we shall stand before Him.  For the Kingdom of Heaven is here and now.  Because Christ is Risen, there is no division between that which is heavenly and that which is earthly.  Because Christ is Risen, there remains no reason for fear or doubt.  Because Christ is Risen, there must not be hatred or suspicion that separates one from another.  As the Pascal Verses teach us, "Let us call brothers even those that hate us, and forgive all by the Resurrection."  This is what our Lord leaves to us as the lesson of the empty tomb.  There is no boundary to His love.  If we are truly His followers, there can be no boundary to our love.

Christ is Risen!  May that three-word summary of all theology fill each of us, today, tomorrow, and until we are with the Lord at His Second and Glorious Coming!

Great and Holy Monday

At Presanctified Liturgy today, we read from the 24th Chapter of the Gospel of Saint Matthew.  It is here that our Lord is taken aside by His Apostles, and they ask Him, "Tell us, when will these things be?"  The question is in response to the teaching that our Lord has just given to the Pharisees in Chapter 23, where the Lord repeatedly says to them, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees!  Hypocrites!"  At the end of that monologue, Jesus proclaims the fate of Jerusalem (Mat 23:37-39)

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!  See, your house is left to you desolate; for I say to you, you shall see Me no more till you say, 'Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!'"
Saint Nikolai Velimirovich wrote a wonderful sermon on the content of Matthew 24 in his "Prologue."  In it, he says:

Who is this "other" who will come in his own name and whom sinful men will prefer to receive rather than Christ the Lord?  It is he who does not carry the cross and does not walk the narrow path; he who is not a lover of man but rather a hater of man; he who does not struggle against sin but rather struggles for sin; he who loves impurity and spreads impurity; he who is a soldier of eternal death and not of eternal life; he who flatters the godless and loves every passion and vice: he is Antichrist. He will come in his own name and not in the name of God, and all those who did not receive Christ will receive him. He will be more dear to them, for he will embrace all their crooked and sinful paths. He will be more dear to them than Christ, for alongside the difficult path of Christ he will build a path smooth as ice, over which men will easily slide, not thinking about the abyss to which it leads them. The Lord Jesus Christ came in the name of the eternal salvation of men, eternal life, eternal truth and eternal justice. Antichrist will come in his own name, that is, in the name of eternal destruction, death, falsehood and injustice. When the Antichrist comes among his own, his own will gladly receive him. In fact, all those for whom Christ is difficult will gladly receive Antichrist, for he and his path will appear easy to them. Only when it is too late will the foolish see that they were deceived, but there will be no salvation for them. When they begin to slide into eternal night, into the jaws of the fetid serpent, then it will be too late; repentance will not be accepted and there will be no salvation. The foolish banquet of earthly sinners and Antichrist will be over quickly, in the blink of an eye, and the house of impure joy will turn into a hopeless prison of remorse and misery. Then it will be too late.


In our world, we know the expression "Antichrist", and we've come to embrace the person as a fictional character, brought to us in movies that excite us by portraying world-wide destruction.  What many fail to recognize is that the person is real.  He will come.  The prophecies of the end times issued by our Lord in today's Gospel reading from Matthew 24 will come to pass.  Those who deny such reality place themselves into the perilous position outlined by Saint Nikolai above, as those who will "gladly receive him" because of the ease of life his policies will present.  


Here in Holy Week 2012, let us not ignore our Lord's words.  We began the Great Fast by celebrating before it a number of preparatory Sundays.  Among these were the Sunday of the Last Judgment.  This too is a real event, which will be precipitated at the fulfillment of all prophesied by our Lord in today's Gospel lesson.  


We celebrate for the first three evenings of Holy Week the Bridegroom Matins.  Within these services, we also remind ourselves of our Lord's parable of the wise virgins:  


"Behold, the Bridegroom comes at midnight.  Blessed is the servant whom He shall find watching, and again unworthy is the servant whom He shall find heedless.  Beware therefore, O my soul, do not be weighed down with sleep, lest you be given up to death and lest you be shut out of the kingdom.  But rouse yourself, saying 'Holy, Holy, Holy are You, O our God!'  Through the prayers of the Theotokos, have mercy on us!"


Let us pray for this watchfulness and this focus as we walk with our Lord toward His Holy Passion!

Reflections On Lazarus Saturday

By this time in the Great Fast, and specifically now that the fast is over, we look ahead with great anticipation to the coming of Holy Week, but even more so to the Resurrection of our Lord.  We’re making plans already.  We’ve already begun to clean the house for guests, to decorate eggs, to bake bread, to buy our meats which we’ve been waiting these past seven plus weeks to be able to consume again.

But in the wisdom of the Church, while She knows that we’re doing all of these things, She is attempting at every turn to focus our attention on that which is happening around us.  And what I mean by that is not what is occurring in the world, with the political battles of this year raging, of wars, of murders in the streets.  While we shouldn’t ignore such things, our focus is supposed to be on that which is occurring right now to our Lord, as He is today in Bethany, and tomorrow in Jerusalem.

Especially today, on Lazarus Saturday, we find ourselves in a mixed state of sorrow and joy.  We sorrow, for we know that we must walk with our Lord to Gethsemane, and to Golgotha, and to the tomb.  We know that the rollercoaster of joy and grief will continue, as we sit with Him at supper and He gives to us that very first Eucharist, but then immediately reveals to us that one of us will betray Him.  Our sorrow deepens as we come to recognize those times in our lives when, by virtue of our selfish attitudes and our sinful ways, we too have betrayed Him.  We’ll be at His side as the guards rush in to arrest Him, as Judas kisses Him, as Peter strikes one of the guards, as He is carried away shamelessly to an unlawful gathering of those who hate Him, as He is struck on the face, beaten, spit upon, mocked, scourged.

We know instinctively that every time that we take that walk with Him, we see Him suffering all these things for our sakes.  His love for us is perfect.  Our love for Him is so very far from that perfection, and yet even the imperfect love that we have for Him causes us to grieve to the depths of our souls as we witness what our Lord comes to endure for us.  And in that sense, the depth of our grief is an indicator to us – it should strengthen us.  For when we feel as if we are separated from the Lord, all we need do is think about how we feel seeing Him nailed to the cross, how our bodies jerk in response to those sticks we clang together on Holy Thursday, reminding us of the nailing.  No human being grieves for someone we do not love.  But we grieve deeply for those whom we do love.  This coming week, we will grieve.  We will gather here and weep as we witness yet again that which our Lord chooses to endure for us.  As we gauge our grief in this coming week, we should bank those feelings for the coming year, for they bear testimony to the depth with which we love our Lord in return!  Every time we are tempted to think that our love for Him is lessened by something, some response, some sin, some act in the world – remember this week!  Remember the love you sense for Christ in these days, and draw from that well!!

Today, Jesus comes to Bethany, knowing exactly what He will find there – the body of a beloved friend, rotting, stinking in the grave, decaying and beyond all hope from men.  But it is not just any Man that comes to the tomb today.  It is the God-Man, God in the flesh, the One Who created us from the dust.  If He has the ability to create us from nothingness, how difficult is it for Him to call the soul back into a decayed body, and to mend that body back to perfect health?  It is a Word to God.  In today’s case, it is three words:  “Lazarus, come forth!”  If we need an indication that all hear the voice of God, here it is.  Lazarus is four days dead.  His physical ears are missing.  But our spiritual ears never fade.  In spirit, the dead man hears the voice of the Living God.  And he cannot disobey the command.  God’s will must be done, even amongst those who are dead!

Like Lazarus, we will also die.  Like him, we too will return to that dust from which our Lord made us.  And like him, we too will ultimately hear the voice of our Lord, when He returns to judge all mankind, call us from where we are.  For the living, they will come.  For the departed, they will return, at His command, just as does Lazarus on this day.  The day is coming for all of us, dead and alive, when we will respond just as Lazarus does on this day.  “All of you, come forth!  The time for judgment is at hand!!”

This coming week I say to you that we will all weep and mourn and grieve over what we witness happening to our Lord, and in that weeping we will show to Him and to ourselves the extent of our love for Him.  But in that weeping, we cannot overlook the fact that today, as Jesus comes to Bethany, He shares in that expression of love for us, His creation, whom He loves enough to endure even that which lay before Him in this coming week.  In His love for us, even God stops to weep, for it grieves even God in Spirit to see the perfection of His creation overcome by death.  It grieves Him so greatly that He cannot endure to allow it to go on.  And so today He calls Lazarus.  In another week, His voice will call all who have lain in the grave, since the death of Abel, the first of mankind to die, until the last person who will take their last breath before Jesus returns at His Second Coming.

The Resurrection of Jesus Christ is not something that will affect us sometime in an unknown future.  It applies to us now, to you and to me.  It must change us now, make us alive in Christ now.  It must comfort us now.  We must wash in it to remove our sins and passions, right now.  The raising of Lazarus calls us to this perspective today.  While the time of Holy Week itself is short, our time in this world grows short, it is shorter every day.  We cannot wait to claim this power of Christ’s victory over death until later.

The voice of our Lord is calling to us at this same time.  “You who are asleep in sin, come forth!”  We must not – we can not ignore the call.

The Woman At The Well

Being a "child of the 60's" (my teen years), it was natural to become a fan of Peter, Paul and Mary.  The "protest song genre" notwithstanding, there was just a lot of good music that was produced, much of it spiritual in nature, taking cues from old time spirituals, etc.

One such 'tune' that always comes to mind is "Jesus Met the Woman at the Well."  It is a painfully repetitive but accurate account of the Lord's encounter with the woman we now know as Saint Photina at Jacob's well at Sychar in Samaria, as documented in Chapter 4 of the Gospel of Saint John.

Why this message on this day?  Because this is the day we celebrate the memory of Saint Photina!

In many Christian backgrounds, her name remains unknown.  But to us in Holy Orthodoxy, we have the rich tradition of what happened to this wonderful saint after her first encounter with the Lord.  The account is one that carries much hope for us even to this very day, for in a truly brief encounter, the shortest of improbable conversations, the heart of Saint Photina was changed, and she left her sinful life and followed Christ!  May it be so with us!!

From the years 54 through 68 (the reign of the emperor Nero), Saint Photina lived in Carthage with her younger son Joses.  Her evangelistic mission, which started when she left her water bottle at the well and went into the town to call others to 'come and see' Jesus continued in this new city.  The blessed saint's older son, Victor, was a soldier, a military commander in Asia Minor, distinguished in battle, whom Nero called to Italy to arrest and punish Christians. A friend of his, Sebastian by name, urged Victor to convince his family to submit to the will of the emperor, for he knew that they were all Christians.  Instead of shrinking at the threat from the emperor, Victor boldly proclaimed, "I wish to preach Christ like my mother and brother."

Saddened, Sebastian continued to try to change Victor's mind, and in response, he became blinded for three days, laying, without uttering even a word.  On the fourth day, Sebastian arose and declared, "The God of the Christians is the only true God."  When Victor asked why he had changed his own perspective, Sebastian replied, "Because Christ is calling me!"  He received baptism, and regained his sight.  At this, all of his own servants were also baptized.

Nero learned of all of these happenings, and summoned the group to Rome.  Christ appeared to Victor, giving him the name Photinus, because "through you many will be enlightened and believe in Me."

Saint Photina heard of the plight of her son, and left Carthage to join the confessors of Christ in Rome.  There, persecutions awaited, and they submitted willingly to all.  Saint Photina and her five sisters were given over to supervision by Nero's daughter, Domnina, whom Saint Photina evangelized and brought to Christ!  Casting the whole group into prison for three years, Nero again sent to receive a report on their being broken to renounce Christ.  Instead, he was informed that the whole prison had been evangelized, converted, and that it had become "a bright and fragrant place where God is glorified."

At this, Nero gave orders to crucify the saints.  After four days, an angel freed the martyrs from their crosses and healed them.  The tortures became even more savage.  Ultimately, the "woman at the well" was cast into a well by Nero, where she remained for twenty days.  After this, she was again brought before Nero and ordered to offer sacrifice to idols.  At this, Saint Photina spit in the face of the emperor, saying, "You impious and stupid man!  Do you think I am so deluded that I would renounce my Lord to offer sacrifice to idols as blind as you are?"

Saint Photina was returned to the well, and there she surrendered her soul to her Lord and Savior.

When I Think of the Many Evil Things I Have Done...

Here within the Great Fast, the hymnology of the Church changes.  And during the celebration of Matins, we add penitential hymns not used at other times in the year.  Among these is the hymn, "Open to Me the Doors of Repentance."

It's a wonderful hymn, directed toward the Mother of God, and filled with prayerful images of a heart being turned toward God.  The hymn reads:

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
Open to me the doors of repentance, O Life Giver, for my spirit rises early to pray towards Your holy temple, bearing the temple of my body, all defiled.  But in Your compassion, purify me by the loving kindness of Your mercy.
Now and ever, and unto ages of ages.  Amen.
Lead me on the paths of salvation, O Mother of God, for I have profaned my soul with shameful sin, and have wasted my life in laziness.  But by your intercession, deliver me from all impurity.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your great mercy, and according to the multitude of Your compassion, blot out my transgression.
When I think of the many evil things I have done, wretch that I am, I tremble at the fearful Day of Judgment.  But trusting in Your lovingkindness, like David I cry to You:
Have mercy on me, O God.
Have mercy on me, O God.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your great mercy.


The hymn is filled with imagery of that which is wrong in my life, the things that I must not only confess, but seek the Lord's help to overcome in fighting the temptation which regularly causes me to fail and fall.  It also points me in the direction of not thinking that I can overcome this alone, and it causes me to seek the intercession of the Theotokos.  As the Mother of God, she is the Protectress of Christians.  It is she who can offer intercessory prayers before her Son, our God, as she did at the wedding in Cana of Galilee.

The hymn is a paraphrase of the soul searching of the Prodigal.  I have profaned my soul with shameful sin.  Many may say, "What have I done that is so horrible, father?"  The response is that anything which separates us from the holiness and purity of God separates us from Him, and is sinful, is something that indeed is shameful, deserving of either separation from the Love of God, or conversely, deserving of being confessed and forgiven.

Metropolitan Anthony (Bloom), in his book "Beginning to Pray," encouraged the reader to take a prayer offered in this day, and to focus on only one aspect of the prayer.  Make just one thing that which you attempt at all times in this present day to complete with all integrity and diligence.  For example, within Morning Prayers, there is a phrase, "Grant that I may be diligent and faithful, avoiding evil company and influence, resisting temptation, that I may lead a godly and righteous life, blameless and peaceful, ever serving You, and that I may be accounted worthy to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  Amen."


Within this one line of one prayer, we could attempt to go this day being fully diligent, engaged in only good works. Or we could instead seek to turn ourselves away from temptation when it comes to us.  Or we could try to bring peace to all situations we encounter, within self or others.  Can you see the myriad of ways to try to focus on only one thing from only one line of a prayer?

Suppose we take the first path, that of being diligent, engaging only in good works.  We start the day.  We pray.  So far, so good.  We have coffee and breakfast.  No problem so far.  We get into the car, and begin the drive to work.  And at the traffic light, as it turns yellow, we speed up....  The test has been failed, and the day is not yet an hour old.

"Yes, but father, the hymn says 'shameful sins'.  What is shameful in this description?"

When we choose to follow the easy path, the one that is expedient for us personally, without giving prayerful thought to the effects we have on others, this is shameful in and of itself.  There is no sin that I could commit which might not cause a brother or sister in response to sin him- or her-self.  When I went through that yellow light, did the person in the waiting cross traffic get angry with me for not caring about their safety?  In their anger, did my lack of foresight and integrity cause them to sin?

We don't often give thought to such "small" things.  And yet a dish cloth is typically not dirtied by one massive lump of foulness, but by many small specks of filth.  So it is with us in all too many cases.

This is the season to wash the stains from the cloth of our souls.  This is the time to seek the loving kindness of the Lord in repentance, and to enlist the aid of His mother, of our patron saint, of our guardian angel, and of all whom we know care for us spiritually.

And to all who read, forgive me, a sinful servant.

Sebaste...

Today is the Feast of the Forty Holy Martyrs of Sebaste.  It is important that we not forget accounts like this one, especially in a world that is ever moving away from Christian-centered and toward Christian-hostile.

For those unfamiliar with the Feast, in the year 320, these forty were martyred for refusing to deny their faith in Christ.  Constantine the Great ruled and had edicted that the Christian faith was to be recognized by the Roman Empire.  But his co-ruler, Licinius, was a pagan.  He was preparing to battle Constantine for control of the Empire, and he feared that Christians in his army could not be trusted against Constantine.  And so he set out to purge Christians from his army's ranks.  Within that army were forty members from Cappadocia, who had distinguished themselves in battle.  These were offered the ability to sacrifice to idols to prove their allegiance to Licinius.  When they refused, they were locked away in prison, where during the night they heard a voice saying, "Persevere to the end, and you shall be saved."  A week later they were tried for their refusal to follow orders, to which these brave souls answered, "Take not just our positions, but also our lives, for nothing is more precious to us than our Lord Jesus Christ!"

After several attempts to bring them to an end which by the grace of God failed, the forty were cast into a freezing lake, and a guard was set to prevent their exit.  Meanwhile, a warm bath house was placed as an enticement on the bank of the lake.  During the night, one of the forty could take no more and rand to the bath house, where he fell dead.  But later that night, a light appeared, and some of the ice in the lake melted, and it is said that the waters became warm.  And then one of the guards along the shore saw crowns appearing over the heads of those still in the waters.  At this, the guard, Aglaius by name, realized that the faith of those he was guarding was indeed the truth.  He took off his own uniform and said to his fellow guards, "I too am a Christian," and he joined the others in the lake, replacing the one who had left and perished.

In the morning, the remaining guards were surprised to find that the martyrs were still alive, and Aglaius was with them, glorifying Christ.  The remaining guards led the group from the waters, broke their legs, and carted them away to an awaiting fire, where their broken bodies were cast into the flames.  Later, their charred bones were thrown into the water so that other Christians would not gather them up in honor.  But three days later, Bishop Peter of Sebaste had this revealed to him in a dream, and with several clergy they went by night and gathered the remains and buried them with great honor.

Those who suffered were Cyrion, Candidus, Domnus, Hesychius, Heraclius, Smaragdus, Eunoicus, Valens, Vivianus, Claudius, Priscus, Theodulus, Eutychius, John, Xanthias, Helianus, Sisinius, Angius, Aetius, Flavius, Acacius, Ecdicius, Lysimachus, Alexander, Elias, Gorgonius, Theophilus, Dometian, Gaius, Leontius, Athanasius, Cyril, Sacerdon, Nicholas, Valerius, Philoctimon, Severian, Chudion, Aglaius, and Meliton.

It is right and proper for us to remember them - by name - on this day, for that which they did in following Christ has been repeated in the world since then, and will be so until our Lord returns.  We dare not forget those who suffer for the sake of the Gospel, and of never denying our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  If any doubt that such sacrifice continues even to this very day, simply take a look at the other saints we commemorate on this day, March 9th.  The list includes the New Hieromatryr Archpriest Mitrophan Buchnoff of Voronezh (1931); the New Hieromartyrs Michael, Alexis, Demetrius, Sergius and Sergius - priests, Nicholas - deacon, Hieromartyr Iosaph, and virgin martyrs Natalia and Alexandra (1938).  Let there be no doubt that Christians still suffer for the sake of the Gospel and of our Lord - even to this very day.  There are Sebaste's throughout the world, and it is unfortunate that we need not look far to find them.  A quick trip to www.persecution.org, or to YouTube with searches to find such things as temples being destroyed and icons burned and trampled only reinforces that we are in a time when it is not inconceivable that we may be called upon to follow in the footsteps and the examples of people such as these.

Woe to Them Who Are Wise in Their Own Eyes

Today's reading from Isaiah carries with it a number of things of which we should take careful note in the world in which we live.


Isa 5:16-25 - "16  But the Lord of hosts shall be exalted in judgment, and God who is holy shall be hallowed in righteousness. 17 Then the lambs shall feed in their pasture, and in the waste places of the fat ones strangers shall eat. 18 Woe to those who draw iniquity with cords of vanity, and sin as if with a cart rope; 19 That say, "Let Him make speed and hasten His work, that we may see it; and let the counsel of the Holy One of Israel draw near and come, that we may know it." 20 Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! 22 Woe to men mighty at drinking wine, woe to men valiant for mixing intoxicating drink, 23 who justify the wicked for a bribe, and take away justice from the righteous man! 24 Therefore, as the fire devours the stubble, and the flame consumes the chaff, so their root will be as rottenness, and their blossom will ascend like dust; because they have rejected the law of the Lord of Hosts, and despised the word of the Holy One of Israel. 25 Therefore the anger of the Lord is aroused against His people; He has stretched out His hand against them and stricken them, and the hills trembled. Their carcasses were as refuse in the midst of the streets. For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still."


18  Woe to those who draw iniquity with cords of vanity, and sin as if with a cart rope - The vision painted by the prophet is that of taking sins with us wherever we go, assuring that they follow us, not leaving them behind even for an instant.  And we carry them why?  Because we are attached to them more than we are attached to our destination.  And in taking our sins with us, we use them wherever we go.  In so many instances as we confess our sins, we come to the understanding that a sin that we commit almost never affects only us, but it also affects others around us.  If I am angered, my anger alienates the one with whom I'm angry.  If I am covetous, my desire to outdo the other causes them to enter the race with me.  If I am adulterous, envious, filled with gossip, . .  Name the sin, it carries the effect of impacting the one or ones who surround me, who are taking from the cart I draw carrying my own iniquity.


20  Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! - Look at the world around us.  Without taking sides in political issues, how can two sides project as truth words that are diametrically opposed to one another?  How can both be true?  How can "universal health care" be simultaneously that which will bring down a nation and that which will elevate a nation out of the depths?  How can "man-made global warming" be simultaneously the thing that most threatens the planet and a huge hoax to control the populace?  Some side is putting darkness for light.  Some side is putting bitter for sweet.  And the scary thing is that while we, the people in the trenches try to figure out for ourselves which side is telling the truth, it's totally possible that both are putting darkness for light, and bitter for sweet.


21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight - This is especially cutting to those of us who see ourselves as self-sufficient, who have been put in places of authority, and who exercise that authority by our own "wisdom", as opposed to seeking first the will of God!  It happens in business, in education, in the home, and yes - even in the church.  


23  (Woe to those) who justify the wicked for a bribe, and take away justice from the righteous man! - Our world is filled with intrigue and subterfuge.  We see it in our political officials.  Money is allocated, and it just seems to "disappear".  Taking justice from the righteous can mean that which happens to deprive one who is accused from a good defense.  But it can also mean our own reticence to offer alms to those in need.  How so?  We hold the resources to provide for a need, and the one who is in need righteously requires what God has given to us in His bounty, not for us to hoard it for ourselves, but to use it as His will would dictate - to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned (Mat 25).  Our holding on to what God has given us in selfishness indeed then withholds justice from the righteous.  


For any of us who fall into any of these categories (and if we're honest with ourselves, we all fit here somewhere), the words of the Prophet Isaiah that follow should bring us to repentance.


24  As the fire devours the stubble, and the flame consumes the chaff, so their root will be as rottenness, and their blossom will ascend like dust; because they have rejected the law of the Lord of Hosts, and despised the word of the Holy One of Israel - Isaiah tells us that if we follow these paths unrepentantly, God will be against us.  This does not mean we will lose that which we have in this world, but in the Kingdom, we gain no root, for that which we've planted, that which we've sown is rotten to the Lord.  The "blossom" is that which flowers from what is planted, and if there is no root, there will be no blossom, and our entry to the Kingdom is despoiled by our sewing seeds that are unrighteous.


The alternatives are easily seen.  Our Lord does not command us to do things which He Himself does not or will not do.  And He commands us, "If your brother sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying , 'I repent!', you shall forgive him." (Luke 17:4)  This is the God Whom we serve.  This is the heart of the Lord Who came and suffered for us.  This is our Lord Who, in a few short weeks, we will walk with toward Jerusalem, and to Gethsemane, and to Golgotha, and to a new tomb.  Before He makes that journey, let us complete our journey towards Him, by confessing that which separates us from Him, making it a sincere offering, for He assures us that He will accept this.  "The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit.  A broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise." (Ps 51:17)

Prayer is Always Answered

Those of us who wear collars and vestments are blessed to receive in so many instances requests from people to call us to prayer.  "Father, please pray for my son, who broke his leg," or "Pray for my mother, who fell," or "Pray for our safe travel on vacation."  We're even bombarded with the rather improper, "Pray that our sports team will win today," which in every case I use as an opportunity to teach about the real purpose of prayer (which is NOT for such frivolous issues).

Unfortunately, many develop the sense that their prayers are unanswered, that God doesn't care about them because He has not answered their prayers in the way they wanted them answered or in the time frame in which they demanded His answer.

These are dangerous sensations, for they are not from God, but rather from the enemy, Satan.  It is he who plants the seed within us to cause us to think that if God has not granted that for which we've prayed, He doesn't care about us, or there is a problem with the form of our prayer, and so we may as well just quit trying to speak with God in prayer, for it has no effect.


Saint Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain reminds us of Isaiah 58:9, where the Prophet reminds us, "Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.'"  God is always present and watchful.  The parable of the Prodigal Son shows us a picture of the Father, Who remains so vigilant over awaiting the return of His sinful and wandering son that He sees him well before he arrives, and in fact runs to meet him as he returns to the Father's house.


Saint Nicodemus continues - "Therefore, when you beg God to grant you something, and He is slow in hearing you, continue to pray, keeping firm trust in His help alive in your heart.  For diligent prayer is never left by Him unrewarded and He is always ready to pour out rich blessings in return."  God is never "slow in hearing," but in our perception He is often slow or missing in our expectations of an answer to our prayer.  This is especially true when we encounter people and loved ones who are ill and truly need our prayerful support.  When we pray for them, and they remain ill, or worse, if their condition degrades, we think that God has not heard our prayer, that He has abandoned us, that we are not important enough to Him to have Him care to answer our prayer.  This leads to a shaken faith, shattered belief in God, and a falling away from God and the truth.


Saint Nicodemus does not end his teaching at the above.  He then tells us, "The blessings God pours out upon those who pray much exceed their expectations if they have no inner obstacles and are not in a state when it is better for them that their petition should remain unfulfilled."  We seem to think that we have all the answers, that we know in advance what is best for our salvation OR for the salvation of those towards whom our prayers are directed.  And yet in our finite view, we cannot know what is best for the ones for whom we pray (especially if we pray for ourselves!), nor what is best to lead the soul toward salvation.


God knows these things implicitly.  We think we know them, but a short stint of prayerful thought will reveal to us that our understanding of "best" is greatly flawed, imperfect at best, and limited to hindsight.


Continuing his teaching, Saint Nicodemus says, "Instead of what they ask (in prayer), God sends them some other good, more profitable to them, whether they are aware of it or not.  In this sense the conviction that prayer never remains unheard is quite justified....  So always be patient in prayer, and convinced that prayer never remains without fruit.  If you do not receive what you ask, believe that you are receiving or will receive another good in its place."


The fact that we pray carries the greatest importance.  Our openness to receiving that which the Lord will provide in response to our prayer is next in importance, receiving joyfully anything and everything He grants to us, for we know that He will never give us that which is harmful to our salvation.


Saint John Chrysostom teaches, "Prayer is a great blessing if practiced in a right inner state and if we teach ourselves to give thanks to God, both when we receive what we ask and when we do not receive it.  For when He gives, and when He does not give, He does it for your good.  Thus when you receive what you ask, it is quite clear that you have received it; but when you do not receive it, you also receive, because you thus do not receive what is undoubtedly harmful to you; and not to receive what is harmful means to be granted what is useful. So, whether you receive what you ask or not, give thanks to God in the belief that God would have always given us what we ask were it not often better for us not to receive it."


Pray without ceasing.  Pray for that which benefits your salvation, the salvation of those you love, and the salvation of those who hate you.  Then, wait - for God will answer your prayer, and know that when He does, it will without doubt be that which is best for the salvation of all involved!

Wisdom! Let us attend!

We pray these words often in the Divine Services of the Church.  They are located in places where something quite important is about to happen - in the Divine Liturgy, before the Epistle and Gospel readings; in the Presanctified Liturgy, before the bringing forth of the lighted candle and the proclamation, "The Light of Christ Illumines all!"; in Vespers, at the evening Prokeimenon.

They are words that say to us, in essence, "Wake up!"

These are words that our Lord Himself offers to us throughout Holy Scripture.  Jesus says, "Watch, therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming." (Mat 25:13) As the Lord is preparing for His saving Passion, He says to the Apostles who indeed are falling asleep, "What? Could you not watch with Me one hour?  Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation." (Mat 26:40-41)  During the Presanctified Liturgy, we pray, "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips." (Ps 141:3)

We need to be ever-mindful of this need for attentiveness.  In today's reading from Genesis, it's clear that neither Adam nor Eve were paying attention.  As the serpent comes to entice Eve to partake of the fruit banned by God, he asks her, "Has God indeed said, 'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?'"  Do we see the twisting of the truth that is offered as the original temptation?  Do we perceive the cunningness of Satan?  Are we attentive?  His message is a perversion of what he knows God to have given as the ONE, SINGLE instruction to His creation, mankind, so that they might have life with Him eternally.  Satan, being parted from God, cannot bear to see another creature supplant his former position with God, and so does all he can to tear down, to destroy the bond that God intended for humanity from our creation.  He knows that God did not forbid every fruit.  And yet the posing of the question is intended to plant the seed of thought into the woman, "If all other fruit is acceptable, why not just the one?"

Eve, for her part, was not attentive either.  For in her answer to the question, she offers her own modification to the commandment that God had given.  She replies, "God has said, 'You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.'"  (Gen 3:3)  God never commanded anything associated with touch, and yet the woman adds this to God's command.  Why?  Was it simply because she had not "been attentive"?  Or was it because in her humanity, she felt the need to add to the commandment to make it "more sure" in her own mind?  We'll not know until we can ask her.  But for now, it's clear that there was certainly a lack of "attention".

The balance of the account we know.  Adam blames Eve.  Eve blames the serpent.  Are we not all children, seeking to point at others for our own failures?

God's commandment to Adam was, "'Of every tree of the garden, you may freely eat; but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.'" (Gen 2:16-17)  On the day that the two partook of the tree, death entered them.  And God pronounces His judgment, expelling them from His presence.  Jesus teaches us (if we're 'attentive'), "Of Myself I can do nothing. As I hear, I judge, and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of the Father Who sent Me." (John 5:30)  The expulsion is not a condemnation from God, but a righteous judgment, the predetermined penalty for exercising the free-will that could but did not need to lead to this point.

Are we paying attention to that which is necessary for our salvation?  The words we need are before us, in Holy Scripture, in the prayers of the Divine Services, and in the writings of the Holy Fathers and Mothers.  It is all there, ready for us to seek, ready for us to understand.

Wisdom - Let us attend!

Presanctified Liturgy

Canon XLIX of the Sixty Canons of the Regional Council of Laodicea (AD 364) states, "During the Great Fast, bread must not be offered, except on Saturday and Sunday only."  Canon LII of the Sixth Ecumenical Council of Constantinople (AD 680) states, "On the days of the Holy Lent devoted to fasting, with the exception of Saturday and Sunday and the days of the Holy Annunciation, let the sacred Liturgy of the Presanctified be celebrated."


In short, the Eucharist is incredibly important to us, and yet the sanctity and sobriety of the Great Fast requires that the 'celebration' that is the Divine Liturgy not be observed during the days of the week.  It is for this reason that on the calendar we find readings from Genesis, from Isaiah, from Proverbs instead of the typical Epistle and Gospel readings.  And so the Church gifts to us the "necessary food," our "daily bread" as the Eucharist of the Presanctified Gifts.

This Liturgy itself is filled with the indications of that which is "different".  From the very beginning, when the clergy arrive for entrance prayers and vesting, the vesting prayers are 'removed', and substituted with simple, "Let us pray to the Lord/Lord have mercy" offerings at the addition of each vestment item.  We begin with Vesperal hymns, the "Sunset Psalm" (Ps 104).  The hymns and responses are sung in the Lenten tones, as opposed to those used during the more joyous Divine Liturgy of Sunday.

The First Antiphon is founded upon the "Song of Ascents" (Ps 120 - 124), the Second from Ps 125-129, the third Ps 130-134.  During the singing of these hymns, the Host which is already sanctified is transferred from its receptacle (where it was placed on Sunday) to the diskos, then the diskos to the Table of Oblation, all with extreme reverence, for it is the Lord Who is fully before us!

As at Vespers, Lord I Call is sung in the Tone of the Week, followed by hymns which carry the message of the particular week of the Fast within which the service is being served.  Today, we are taught of the Fast itself, ("While fasting in body, let us also fast in spirit, let us loose the bonds of iniquity...."), and of the saints and the Apostles who defended the Holy Orthodox Faith against heresy.

We continue with "Gladsome Light", the hymn which reminds us of the Light of Christ, one of the Holy Trinity, Who entered the world for our salvation.  There are Prokeimena and Old Testament readings, beginning with the account of Creation (today), and carrying us to the Passion of our Lord (during Holy Week).  In between the readings, we bow as the priest brings forth the censer and a single lighted candle, with the proclamation, "Let us attend!  The Light of Christ illumines all!"  This reminds us that our Lord is our source of illumination, of understanding and wisdom, in all that we do.  It is His light that shines on the Old Testament readings before us today, He Who is present at creation, Who is the Creator.  It is He Who gave the wisdom to Solomon to record that which we read today from Proverbs ("My son, if you receive My words, and treasure My commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding; ....then you will find the fear of the Lord, and the knowledge of God.") Prov 2:1-22

The clergy and faithful antiphonally sing "Let My Prayer Arise" as the Holy Eucharist is censed at the four corners of the altar and the Table of Oblation.  All pray the prayer of Saint Ephraim the Syrian, bowing before the Holy Eucharist in repentance, and asking the Lord for His gifts of chastity, humility, patience and love.

After litanies, the Great Entrance follows.  The hymn, "Now invisibly, heavenly powers minister with us.  For behold, the King of Glory now enters.  Behold the mystical sacrifice, all fulfilled, is ushered in."  As the chalice and diskos are carried with extreme reverence by the clergy to the altar, the faithful bow to the floor, for the diskos does not bear our human offerings of bread, but of the Body and Blood of our Lord, fully completed (not as the 'offering' of a regular Divine Liturgy).  Communion is received by the faithful with the beautiful hymn, "O taste and see how good the Lord is!" (Ps 34)

We pray that you may participate in tonight's Presanctified Liturgy, wherever you may be.  If you are near to Hudson, please join us in offering your prayers and voice to our Lord in worship!

More on Saint Andrew's Canon

In tonight's Canon, Saint Andrew returns to the expulsion from Paradise (Gen 3), and offers us this Troparion (after Ode 2 of the Canon):  "Sin, which has stripped me of my former God-woven clothing, has also sewn on me coats of skin."  This is followed by the following Troparion: "I am wrapped in a garment of shame as with fig leaves, in reproof of my selfish passions."


Saint Irenaeus writes of this event in his writings "Against Heresies".  He begins by looking at Cain and Able first, concluding that "God subjected the just to the unjust, that the former might be proved as just by the things he suffered, and the later as unjust by the things he perpetrated."  Cain compounds his sin of murder by then lying to God, when God comes to him and asks, "Where is your brother?", from which we get the now famous, "Am I my brother's keeper?"  God, Who is all-knowing, needs no answer.  Cain, who is filled with rage, cannot even see God's supreme authority, offering sin upon sin.

Returning to Adam, Saint Irenaeus says that there is no analogy in this return to sin after the first.  Adam, when he was found out by God, was seized with terror over his sin, hiding himself, as if it were possible to escape God's vision.  He shows himself indeed having acquired knowledge of good and evil, because in so hiding himself he shows an understanding of being unworthy to appear before God.  This understanding of sin leads to repentance.  How does Adam show this repentant state?  By forming for himself a covering of fig leaves, not to cover his sin, but to show his understanding of the evil done, and to show honor, love, and respect to God who should not be forced to see what has been uncovered - that sinfulness which was chosen over the love of God!

God then interrogates, asking Adam what happened.  And we know, Adam blames Eve.  Then God interrogates Eve,  who in turn blames the serpent.  But there is no equivalent interrogation of the serpent.  God knew "the prime mover" in the sin, and He immediately pronounces judgment on the serpent, then upon Eve, and finally upon Adam.

Like Adam, we have lost that original covering, the one in which Adam and Eve walked naked and yet were not ashamed (Gen 2:25), for there is no reason to be ashamed when there is nothing to cover!

God drives Adam and Eve from Paradise as He says, "'Behold, the man has become like one of Us, to know good and evil. And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the Tree of Life, and eat, and live forever,' therefore God sent them from the garden." (Gen 3:22-23)


On this, Irenaeus teaches that the expulsion was not to withhold the Tree of Life forever, but rather because He showed compassion and pity upon Adam, for if he were to partake of the Tree of Life in this sinful state, he would live forever in sin.  In His mercy and love for us, He drove Adam out, setting a boundary to his sin by interposing death, which causes sin to cease, dying so that we might begin to live again to God.


This returns us to Saint Andrew.  "Sin, which has stripped me of my former God-woven clothing..."  Our sins have removed the purity of nakedness, they have exposed us to the separation between us and God - a separation instituted by our free-will, our choice to not follow His commandments.  Saint Andrew continues, saying that this "has also sewn on me coats of skin."  Not only do a few sins, which might be covered by fig leaves, plague me.  But I need to cover myself with "coats of skin" - heavy garments, due to the magnitude, the 'weight' of my sin.  And so, "I am wrapped in a garment of shame," unlike Adam and Eve in the pre-Fall time, my sins are so obtrusive that even the heaviest of coats cannot cover them.


As we ponder the words and the depths of our souls that Saint Andrew plumbs, let us offer prayers for his intercession - "Holy Father Andrew, pray to God for us!"

Kontakion of the Canon of Saint Andrew

My soul, my soul - arise!
Why are you sleeping?
The end is drawing near,
And you will be confounded.
Awake then, and be watchful,
That Christ our God may spare you,
Who is everywhere present and fills all things.

Making a Good Start - Part 2

I awoke yesterday morning and, as is customary, I checked my e-mail.  My inbox was flooded with messages, starting with one from His Eminence Metropolitan Joseph, who always sends a Forgiveness Sunday message to his clergy asking forgiveness, and then the flood of return e-mails from all of us, begging electronically each other's forgiveness.

It strikes me as strange.  It is perfectly reasonable for us to have this exchange, and yet we've not learned technologically to share that "kiss of peace" which for most of us "seals" the process of asking mutual forgiveness.  The good news for us is that we have a short five weeks until most of us will be together to share that face-to-face kiss at our Annual Diocesan Clergy Retreat.

But the day was sweet for another reason, which is centered about the flock that God has given this sinful priest to shepherd.  Today, the chapel was, if not full, at least filled.  Those who came in faith came with the expectation of encountering one another at the deepest level of humility.  And it was the greatest of blessings to share that "holy kiss" with them, each and every one of them, asking their forgiveness, and in turn receiving their own repentant pleas.

It is with such a start that we enter the season of the Fast.  It is with that incredible joy of attaining to a fully repentant place, to being granted tears of repentance, and to feeling the sense that today, we go forward not harboring any animosity toward anyone.  We go forward with a greater purity of spirit, which is the only way to seek that which the Lord is about to grant us.

Today, we begin to pray the wonderful penitential prayers of Saint Andrew of Crete.  We begin to contemplate that which has passed in the year since we stood at this same place.

There is no subtlety in the words of Saint Andrew.  He begins by showing me those places in my life where I have fallen to an even greater extent than our forefathers.  He leads me to accuse myself of sinning more than Adam, more than Eve, more than those of Sodom and Gomorrah.  He shows me in prayer that "there is no sin or act or vice in life that I have not committed.  I have sinned in mind, in word and choice, in purpose, will and action, as no one else has ever done."  And yet, through all of these heart-wrenching and soul-searching declarations, Saint Andrew never enters the realm of despair, but rather again focuses us on the loving mercy of our God and Savior.  The prayerful examples he gives lead us back to life in Christ:  "I have confessed to You, my Judge, the secrets of my heart.  See my humility.  See also my distress, and attend to my judgment now, and in Your compassion have mercy on me, O God of our Fathers."  In the process of both the self-judgments and the pleas to our Lord for mercy, we repeatedly (unceasingly?) sing to Him, "Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me!" in the sweetest of penitential melodies.

Having entered the Fast through the Vespers of Forgiveness, let us continue this "good start" by immersing ourselves in the prayers of Saint Andrew, taking ownership of his words, seeing in his examples from the Old and the New Testaments those who have fallen before us, comparing ourselves to them, and then seeking the mercy of our God and Savior.  It is in this way, in this "full immersion" start to the Fast, that we gain that foothold, that place from which we may, by our prayers, and by the prayers we offer for one another, ascend that Divine Ladder rung by rung, moving with joy through the Great Fast inexorably toward the Passion of our Lord.